Endure
by Jez0209
Summary: Set after my other one-shot "Acknowledge." Since then, there hadn't been a single day in which she didn't think of Raleigh.


_**Hello to all Pacific Rim fans out there! I'm back after a little break from writing fanfics. Anyhow, this is a continuation of my other one-shot "Acknowledge." I hope you enjoy it.**_

_**Songs that I listened to while writing this… "All I need" from Radiohead, "Walk with me" from Ellie Skies and "A light on a hill" from Margot & the Nuclear So and So's.**_

_**English is not my mother tongue, so if there's anything I got wrong, please tell me.**_

**Endure**

Mako opened her eyes. She could feel the hot water running down her body, and clearly hear the sound of the droplets hitting the ceramic line floor. She could hear everything with greater intensity now that most of the time she was surrounded by nothing but silence.

It wasn't until she touched the skin right below her eyes with her fingertips that she realized she was crying. That was the only place in which she allowed herself to cry. Salty tears blending with water; it was perfect.

She closed her eyes once again and let some more tears fall freely.

After a few minutes, she turned the water off, wrapped her body in a towel and stepped out of the shower.

She stared at her reflection in the bathroom's mirror above the sink, and ran her fingers through her wet hair. It was longer; her blue streaks still framing her face. The change was almost imperceptible, subtle, but to her, it was a reminder of the time that had passed. She sighed heavily and made her way out of the bathroom.

For a moment, she stood very still just outside the bathroom's entrance and glanced around. There was nothing in that bedroom that held a piece of Raleigh; any remnants, any memories. He had taken everything with him, and yet, everything reminded her of him.

She approached the bed slowly, like she did every morning; slow, like if she needed to grow courage to start her day; it had been like that ever since Raleigh left. Mako took the clothes that were lying neatly on the bed and finished getting dressed; navy skirt first and then white blouse. She buttoned it up absently while she remembered how mornings used to be when Raleigh was there. He would always, always wake her up with a kiss.

Mako shook those painful memories off, and headed for the closet to get her jacket. Her dark eyes collided with a piece of clothing that didn't belong to her; she hadn't even realized it was there. It was a suede jacket that Raleigh used to wear whenever he took her to fancy places. Mako stared at it sadly, longingly, and then ran her delicate fingers along the velvety fabric of one of the sleeves. Three months. It had been three months.

She remembered everything as if it had happened the day before.

Three months ago, Raleigh had suddenly broken the news to her that he was going back to Alaska. The pain she felt when she heard him saying those words still lingered within her, the same way Raleigh's kisses and touch burned on her skin. _"We need some time apart"_ he had told her, but she had known better. She had known to read between the lines of those simple words; it was Raleigh's way to find out if she was engaged to that relationship as much as he was.

Mako had been engaged to that relationship since day one. She had ever since it had started after that first kiss they shared on that very bed all those nights ago. She had never felt happier, and just by looking at Raleigh, she knew he had felt the same.

But that overwhelming happiness she felt whenever she was with him, turned out to be just too much for her to handle. The more she cared, the more fears and doubts flooded her mind.

She didn't want to lose him, and all the things that Newt had told her about Kaijus coming back soon did nothing to appease her. Every time she looked at Raleigh, Newt's words would inevitably come to her mind.

And then, then she had that nightmare. She dreamt of Kaijus and Jaegers and Raleigh dying. The dream had been so vivid that the next morning, when she saw Raleigh, she had felt like crying in anguish. It took her days to believe that he was actually there, and in those days, Raleigh and she grew apart because unconsciously, she started pushing him away. Raleigh had assumed that her strange behavior had everything to do with the Marshall's death. He had asked her many times why she hadn't cried and she had always said nothing, brushing it off every time. Raleigh was convinced she didn't trust him enough.

Days went by like that, until the morning when Raleigh had told her of his decision to leave.

Mako recalled it well. They were having breakfast together, quiet as it had been lately between them, and he had just out of the blue uttered those words; _"I'm going back to Alaska"_ he had said. The clinking sound her fork made when she put it down gently on her plate still echoed in her mind.

She had avoided meeting his eyes at all cost, choosing instead to fix her gaze on the shadow of the small kitchen's window that the sunlight casted on the floor. She hadn't dared to look at him because she knew that if she did so, she would cry, and if she allowed that to happen, Raleigh would stay. The least she had wanted was to hold him back. He needed to be away from her, and maybe she needed to be away from him as well.

She remembered excusing herself, standing up and then locking inside the bathroom until he left, and when she had finally come out, he was really gone.

She had quietly returned to the bathroom and opened the water taps. She cried that day, and she sort of understood why she hadn't cried for the Marshall. Those tears were always meant to be shed for Raleigh.

The next morning had been the worst to her; a bad dream. There had been no kiss, and no sweet words whispered to her ears; she woke up completely alone. She had gotten up after a few minutes of blank staring at the ceiling, and then, then she had moved on with her life.

In the end, she had resumed working for Marshall Hansen sooner than she had planned.

Since then, there hadn't been a single day in which she didn't think of Raleigh. She wondered where he was, what he was doing and if he missed her the way she missed him.

Hours later, Mako found herself coming back home earlier than usual to her dismay. The Marshall had sent her home arguing that she had been particularly distracted that day and that she needed to get some rest. Mako had protested, but he didn't change his mind. It had been the result of weeks of Herc asking if she was ok and her answering that everything was fine.

Before reaching her destination, Mako wandered around the busy streets of Tokyo trying to prolong the unavoidable as much as possible. High heels clicking against the pavement, and Tokyo' street lights beaming wherever she looked. All kinds of sounds and smells were occupying her senses. Mako walked aimlessly, unhurriedly, unaware of the pair of blue eyes that taken by surprise, followed all her moves.

When she got home, she ceremoniously slipped out of her heels, and without turning any lights on, headed straight to her bedroom. Once there, she took her jacket off and placed it on the back of the chair before her dressing table. She put on her pajamas and sat on her side of the bed; back on the headboard, legs bent and knees close to her chest. The moonlight filtering through the bare window was casting on her, giving her a ghostly appearance.

A familiar sound made Mako's heart stop and then, her pulse quicken; it had been the sound of a door closing. There was only one person besides from her that had the key to that apartment. No other sound came after that, so she thought that it had been just her imagination, but soon after, the unmistakable sound of her bedroom's door opening, made her breath caught.

It had to be Raleigh; it had to be him. She could feel him. She could feel his piercing eyes on her.

-I didn't know you were here.- he said in a raspy voice.

Mako couldn't bring herself to reply; what was she supposed to say? He hadn't expected her to be there. He had thought she was at work and had decided to use that time to pick up the rest of his stuff. That sole thought hurt her to no extend.

She froze at the soft sound of Raleigh's footsteps approaching, muffled by the rug in the room. She tried looking everywhere but him at first, but failed miserably for her eyes followed his every move from the moment he passed in front of her until he sat on the edge of the bed, near her. His closeness turned out to be, as always, inebriating.

She bashfully looked up at him and stared at his profile, dimly illuminated by the moonlight, and memorized the image in case she'd never get to see him again. She noticed he looked tired, older; as emotionally worn out as she felt.

The silence surrounding them was so thick that they could perfectly hear each other's breathing. Mako caught a glimpse of Raleigh's hand resting on the mattress, and had to fight the urge to grab it. Raleigh's voice startled her.

-Since Yancy died, I hadn't had anyone else that I wanted to protect.- he started -Every night, I went to bed secretly hoping to fall the next day from the highest spot in the construction and never wake up… then I met you, and all of the sudden I started to care.- he said quietly -I hated rainy days because they reminded me of Yancy, but then they became a good thing because I met you in one.- he confessed -For the first time in almost six years I cared about what the future was holding for me, and I started to believe that all the stories my mother used to tell Jasmine about finding your soul mate were real.

Mako kept quiet, so Raleigh continued.

-When the Kaiju War ended, all I could think of was that I might never see you again, and then, after you told me you wanted to come along to Alaska, and then accepted my affections, I felt like the luckiest man in the world. I thought we were okay; that we were happy, and suddenly, you started to distance yourself from me, and I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore. I didn't want to make you stay with someone out of obligation; that's why I left… to be honest, to this morning I wasn't sure if coming back was a good idea, but I received a call from Marshall Hansen. After insulting me for a few minutes, he told me that you were not doing ok; that you hadn't in months, and I realized that no matter what, my place would always be here, with you, even if you don't feel the same way I do.- Mako reached out for his hand, and this time, she took it between hers, earning a surprised look from Raleigh.

-It's not that I don't love you.- she half-whispered -It's that I love you too much.- she admitted softly, and lifted her gaze to meet his -A couple of days before you left, I had this dream about you dying. It was so real that it took me days to understand that you were really here; by the time I did, it was too late.

-So it wasn't the Marshall.

-No.- she said shaking her head -The reason why I'd never cried for him is because I know he wouldn't have wanted me to. I can almost hear him saying that I must remain strong.

-I should have known.- Raleigh said.

-No, I… - Mako trailed off when Raleigh rested his forehead on one of her knees. She stared at him lovingly, stroking his hair tenderly.

Raleigh exhaled sharply and stood up, dragging Mako with him. The stood there face to face, motionless, just looking into each other's eyes; hands unwilling to let go. Slowly, Raleigh pulled Mako closer to him, and she placed her hands on his chest, running them all the way up to his shoulders, enjoying the way the wooly fabric of Raleigh's sweater felt under her palms. She locked her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Raleigh encircled Mako's waist with his arms, and held her tight to his body

-I've missed you.- he told her, breathing in her hair.

-I've missed you too.- she replied breathily. Raleigh closed his eyes at the feeling of Mako's breath against his skin.

-And I love you.- he whispered.

-I love you too.- she said; words coming out as naturally as breathing.

They slept in each other's arms that night, and the next morning, they decided to start anew.

Raleigh woke Mako up with a kiss.

**So, how did you like it? Let me know.**

**Thanks for reading!**


End file.
